Well, we’re 17 weeks into the year 5775, and in week 13 of the Living with Intention in 5775 challenge!
Yesterday, I was at services and my face began to flush as the congregational leader spoke; I felt shame. Hashem has been trying to get my attention for a while now about rooting out this major issue I have with my mouth when I get angry. You see, I am impulsive and when I get emotional, overwhelmed or frustrated I tend to say whatever pops into my head. Now, over the years, I have gotten a little better, but every now and then–my mouth…what’s that verse?
“From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.” (James 3:10)
I knew what my own personal challenge this week would have to be concerning this issue. I believe Hashem is so loving and so kind that He warns us about a possible “humbling by situation/others” if we don’t take proper steps to humble ourselves. I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t want to bring dishonor to my husband, my children, and most importantly my King and Heavenly Father by not at least trying to overcome this fleshly weakness.
We all have things that we want to change. Well, it’s a new year, it’s a new week, and now is the time. Today is the day. I heard a whisper in my spirit yesterday, “You didn’t actually think this was going to get easier did you?” And we shouldn’t. Every day, every hour, we are coming closer to the redemption and coming of our Messiah. I don’t know where I stand, whether I will be found worthy to be the Bride of Messiah or an honored guest at the Wedding Supper, but I don’t want to just get in by the skin of my teeth either. I do know that Hashem loves me enough to correct me, to speak to my heart and ask me to humble myself before Him–and for now that is all I need to know.
So yesterday, in the middle of service I humbled myself before my King and asked Him to change my heart. I know that only by the power of the Holy Spirit can I overcome this flaw.
This week’s challenge is about letting Hashem into your dark places–the rooms in your heart that you’ve locked up, wanted to ignore, and pretended don’t exist. It’s time to deal with them, bringing them into the light of His glory, because until you do, you won’t be able to move forward with Hashem.
I don’t pretend that I will have some miraculous moment where I will no longer struggle with anger or the flippant words that have been known to come out my mouth; I am saying, Hashem wants me to let Him into that place where the anger has found a place to take root. I believe we’ve all allowed things to take a hold in the soil of our heart, and they want to choke out the good seed that has been planted there.
I pray we all have the courage to come in humility and give Hashem the keys to our locked rooms.
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the L-rd. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the L-rd. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light.
Therefore He says:
“Awake, you who sleep,
Arise from the dead,
And Messiah will give you light.”
See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the L-rd is. (Ephesians 5:8-17)
Blessings and Shalom,